Quick Update Until I Can Blog Again

I am so sorry to leave people hanging after the last blog.  The internet connection is rather slow and our time on the computer very limited since we only have access from the hotel lobby and the boys don't exactly sit quietly for us to play around on the computer.
The boys and us are doing fine. We fly home tonight and will be in Portland on Friday. I will continue documenting our trip after we have arrived. I know it won't exactly be a real-time update but it will have to do.

Hugs from Addis,
Negar, Max, Payam and Arman

Payam

Arman

Ethiopia U.S. Embassy Trip - Part 1

December 9, 2011 – March 6, 2012 - Waiting is just too damn hard!

February 23, 2012 - In the mean time, we finally picked names. Introducing:

Payam Abebe Heckscher - Payam means message in Farsi and Abebe means blossoming in Amharic.                                      

Arman Kebede Heckscher - Arman means hope in Farsi and Kebede means grace in Amharic.

Towards the end of January 2012 the wait started to wear on us and so we started debating traveling to Ethiopia and staying with the kids until we clear Embassy. At this point we had no idea how long the waiting would last, so we were potentially talking about staying in Addis Ababa for one or more months.  Well, we decided to just go for it and so we decided to book our trip for March 14^th through April 5^th.

Wednesday March 7, 2012

Received an email from the US Embassy that we have cleared Embassy and we should set up an appointment for our Embassy interview. After discussing options with our adoption agency we decided on Monday March 19^th as our Embassy interview date. Since we had already bought our tickets for March 14th, we didn't need to worry about that little detail for the trip!

Thursday March 8, 2012 - Jan and Gee (Max’s parents) were in Ethiopia from February 26th through March 11th as part of a volunteer group to help out at some orphanages in Addis Ababa (none associated with our adoption agency). Jan and Gee (after some sneaky meetings with the lawyer in Addis) went to the foster home and met their grandchildren in person for the first time.

 Wednesday March 14, 2012 – Leaving for Addis Ababa

Plan was for Amy Newton-Ernst to pick us up at noon and take us to the airport. But Negar was not able to check in for her flight online that morning and kept getting an error message. So we decided to drive to the airport early in the morning, check in all the bags and checked into the flight and then come back home and wait for Amy to pick us up.  As it turned out it was good that we did that. It took a long time to check us in because there was a problem with how they had issued Abebe and Kebede’s return tickets and so we had to redo the ticket so that our itinerary was released and we could check in. Also it was nice to get the bags out of the way. And so at noon we headed out with Amy to start our second trip to Ethiopia.

Leaving for the airport

At Portland airport - Thanks for the ride Amy!

One last drink at the airport as DINKs

Hello Addis!

At Addis Ababa Airport

We arrived in Addis Ababa at 10:30 at night on Thursday March 15, 2012.

Friday March 16, 2012 – GOTCHA’

Today was the day we took custody of the kids.

We visited the boys in the morning to hopefully remind them of us. The nanny who usually takes care of Arman and Payam was very sad when she heard we were going to take custody that afternoon. The staff at the foster home was not expecting us so soon and had thought there would be another week before we came for the boys.

We left the boys at noon to go grab lunch and to pickup supplies such as baby formula, baby cereal, wash basins for clothes and dishes, dish washing liquid, etc. and take it back to the hotel.

We went back to the foster home at 3 pm to pick up the boys. We stayed there for a while so the nannies could say a proper goodbye to Arman and Payam and we reassured them that we were going to be in Ethiopia for another 3 weeks and that we could come back for a proper Coffee Ceremony on another day.

On March 16, 2012, at 4:04 pm Ethiopia time (6:04 am Portland time) we took Arman and Payam from the Foster Home.

GOTCHA!

Saturday March 17 and Sunday March 18, 2012 – Joys of Parenthood

The boys decided to welcome us into parenthood with exploding diarrhea, vomiting and fever.

Both boys entered our lives with diarrhea which was expected. But Saturday night Payam started also vomiting his food and was not keeping any solid food or formula down. By Sunday morning he was running a fever and so we decided it was time to take him to the doctor. We started our visit at the emergency room at the Korean Hospital around 9 am (simply because it was a Sunday and that was the only option, not because we felt it was urgent at the time). The doctor examined both Payam and Arman and ordered stool samples for them.

Korean Hospital

ER doctor

By the time the lab results were ready and we got to see the ER doctor again it was about 3 pm.  The results showed bacteria in the stool so the solution was simple: antibiotics for both of the boys and ORS (Oral Rehydration Solution, similar to Pedialyte) for Payam since he was not keeping any formula down.

However, at this point Payam had gotten so dehydrated that he was completely lethargic. He would not respond to us or take a bottle and his pulse was very weak and so the ER doctor admitted him to the hospital for an overnight stay for IV hydration. So Max went back to the hotel for overnight supplies for Negar and Payam and Negar stayed at the hospital with Arman and Payam to wait for a room. Payam was hooked up to IV in the emergency room while we waited for a room and was finally admitted to the Pediatric Ward around 4:30 pm.

Payam’s stay at the hospital was not without problems. Negar was having the hardest time getting the nurses to send the Pediatrician to the room. The nurses would not start the IV drip before the Pediatrician had seen Payam even though Payam had been hooked up to the IV in the ER before he was even admitted to the Pediatric Ward. As it turned out the Pediatrician was not even at the hospital since it was Sunday but the nurses failed to mention this and kept telling Negar that they would call him!!! Negar finally got so mad at them that they called the doctor and told him to come to the hospital and Payam’s IV was finally started at 7:30 pm! At this point Max and Arman left to spend the night at the hotel while Negar spent the night at the hospital with Payam. Conditions at the hospital were not conducive to the family staying together on this particular night.

To make matters more complicated, we had our U.S. Embassy appointment scheduled for the next morning at 9 am. We called our adoption coordinator in Addis, at about 7 pm and told him about the situation to see if we needed to reschedule the appointment. He actually showed up in the hospital to personally check on Payam. He also talked to the doctor and the doctor agreed to discharge Payam in the morning for a few hours so that he could go to the Embassy as long as we brought him back to the hospital afterwards for reevaluation.

First Trip to Ethiopia - Court
Warning: this is a long one!

Our court appearance was scheduled for December 5th. So we spent thanksgiving packing and then on Friday November 25th boarded a plane (crutches and all) to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Our route was through Amsterdam on KLM with a brief stop in Khartoum. Jake and Sasha stayed home with their wonderful petsitters Kellen and Sitara.

I have to say having Max on crutches worked to our advantage. We went to the front of the security line at Portland airport. In Amsterdam where there is always a huge line to get through to your gate (they do the security check at each gate) we were sent to the front of the line too. And when we arrived in Addis Ababa 20 hours later where we would have had to wait in the visa line for 4 hours (you get your visa at the airport), again we were waved to the front after only waiting 45 minutes or so.  I told Max that he has to bring his crutches along on our next trip!

Saturday November 26, 2011
We arrived in Addis Ababa around 10 pm and looked for our agency driver who was supposed to be holding a sign up with our name. After looking around for 15-20 minutes we realized there  is no driver. So Max went to the Sheraton shuttle kiosk and asked if he can use their phone to call the agency coordinator in Addis. It turns out that they forgot to send a driver. So we just took the Sheraton shuttle since we were staying there for the first 3 nights anyway before moving to a "guest house" (B&B).

We checked into our room (it was probably midnight at this point) at our 5-star hotel only to find that the room had been 1/2 cleaned (dirty towels on the floor, soap dish in the sink, etc).  We called room service and they ASKED if we wanted it cleaned right then!!!! We said yes of coarse and so they sent in someone to take care of it. So much for 5-star rating. I guess 5-star is relative.

We decided to head to the hotel bar and unwind for a little bit. It turned out that the flight crew from our KLM flight was also staying there. We got to hang out with them and talk to our flight attendant and the captain. It was really cool. Wish I had a picture.

Sunday November 27, 2011
We woke up the next morning and enjoyed a wonderful breakfast bufett. The Sheraton is famous for it's fook and the breakfast was amazing. Our first encounter with Ethiopian food. The hotel grounds are also beautiful. This was the view from our balcony.

Before we left for Addis Ababa our agency had told us that we would only be allowed to see the boys for a few days while we are in Addis and that the first day of our meeting would be December 1st.  After our late breakfast we called our agency lawyer in Addis to let him know that we had arrived and ask him what our itinerary would be like. This is how the conversation went:

• Negar: Hello Mr. X, this is Negar Heckscher. I just wanted to let you know that my husband and I arrived in Addis last night and that we are staying at the Sheraton hotel for a couple of days before moving to the Grace Guest House.
• Mr. Lawyer: have you seen your babies yet?
• Negar: No!
• Mr. Lawyer: Why not?!
• Negar: (with disbelief) We just arrived last night at 11 pm and we were told we wouldn't be allowed to see the children until December 1st!
• Mr. Lawyer: no no no ... do you want to see them today?
• Negar: well yes!
• Mr. Lawyer: a driver will pick you up in 20 minutes.

Max and I were in shock. We had been waiting for the moment we would be meeting the kids and we had mentally and emotionally prepared ourselves for that moment to be 4 days later on December 1st. I started running around the hotel room trying to pack my bag with the stuff I wanted to take for the kids: daipers, wipes, wash clothes, diaper cream, toys, picture books, blankies .... Total chaos.

So in 20 minutes (around 2:30 pm) we were picked up and driven to the agency orphanage called AA Foster Home where the kids were staying.

The the Foster Home gate and court yard:

We were taken to the room where the kids slept and one of the care takers handed Abebe to Negar and Kebede to Max. We can not describe the feelings with words. It was like nothing we had experienced before. So here is a picture which will hopefully help explain it.
Holding the kids for the first time, Max is holding Kebede, Negar is holding Abebe:

We spent a couple of hours visiting with the kids and got to meet some of the other adoptive parents who were there visiting with their kids.

At 5 pm visiting time was over and we reluctantly left the kids and went back to our hotel overjoyed and emotionally exhausted.


Monday November 28, 2011 - Wednesday November 30, 2011
Over the next couple of days we visited with the kids every day, once in the morning from 10-noon and once in the afternoon from 3-5 (these were the visiting hours):

And in between went to lunch at some pretty good restaurants with other wonderful adoptive parents we met there:

Island Breeze - super good pizza

Lucy restaurant - named after Lucy the oldest human remains found

And visited the National Museum where we got to see Lucy (well, a replica since the real Lucy was touring the United States):

 

During one of our visits with the kids the foster home staff performed a coffee ceremony for one of the parents who were taking their child back to the US:

On Tuesday November 29th we checked out of our wonderful quite Sheraton hotel and checked into the Grace Guest House where we had planned on staying for the remainder of our trip. Grace Guest House turned out to be very nice, friendly and clean but extreemly far from the children and very very loud at nights (lots of street dogs). So after 2 sleepless nights and long cab drives to visit the kids, we decided to move to the Semien Hotel where our friend Jen Kraft was staying and highly recommended. Semien was walking distance from the foster home so it would work out great AND they had free wifi in the lobby.  

Thursday December 1, 2011 - Saturday December 3, 2011 - Doba Trip

We took a couple of days to travel to the town of Doba where the kids were born and to see some sights on the way.  Doba is located roughly 250 km (150 mi) east of Addis Ababa.

Along the way we passed many “towns” which were mainly small hamlets built along side of the main highway. There were people selling fire wood every few feet and coffee and chet houses.  Even the smallest of towns had taxis, small three wheel blue cars that went back and forth along their stretch of the highway. There were lots of camels and goats both in the towns and along the highway.

We stopped for coffee a few hours outside of Addis. Nedu ordered coffee and within a few minutes small cups of very thick sweet Ethiopian coffee was handed to us.

We stopped at Awash National Park for a quick visit and to have lunch. All visitors are required to have an armed soldier as their guide to the park at all times. So our first stop was at the gate where we picked up our “guide”. We then headed to the Awash Falls Lodge for lunch. The lodge is large two story open building made of big logs on the rim of the gorge overlooking the Awash Falls.  There were small gazebo-like view points on the rim with chairs and tables where guests could enjoy a drink while watching the crocodiles below at the river bank.  After lunch we proceeded to drive through the park towards the river where we parked and went on a short hike. We spotted many monkeys in the trees, baboons just walking around and Max even spotted a couple of Kudu.  The most interesting of all encounters though was with a local crocodile. With our armed protector by our side we were able to get within 15 feet of a crocodile who was resting on the bank of the Awash River. He didn’t stick around for too long though and decided to head for the river after we got too close.  We drove back to the gate where we parted with our armed friend and headed back on the road. Shortly after getting on the highway Max spotted an Oryx (I guess he learned a lot on that Kenya trip!). 

We headed for Bilen Lodge where we were going to spend the night. Bilen Lodge is in a small wildlife preserve in the Afar region. It is said that the continent of Africa got its name from the Afar people. The Afar people believe themselves to be the oldest ethnic group in Africa. The Lodge consists of one large building which serves as kitchen, bar, and the dining room and several small huts which have been built in the traditional style by the local Afar people. Most of the workers at the lodge come from the surrounding villages and in this way the Bilen Lodge combines tourism with creating jobs for the local community. We got to the lodge shortly before dinner. We were checked into our hut which was built by locals in the traditional style. Very simple. Two single beds with mosquito nets and a very basic bathroom. Dinner was goat. We ate with Nedu. The big mistake was thinking the screened in dining room was free of mosquitoes. They also ate well that night. Negar got eaten alive. We were grateful to be on anti-Malarial meds.

The next morning we continued east towards Doba. When we hit the town of Hirna we knew we were close. A little farther up the road we found the turn off to Doba. We were very excited to be heading to Abebe and Kebede’s birthplace. The road was paved for about 100 yards, then it turned to dirt. The first corner was another 100 yards or so and this is where it got rocky… and steep. We barely made it past the first turn before getting stuck. There were some half-hearted attempts to get the minibus moving again but we were only 200 meters in with 10 km to go. Meanwhile a minibus much like ours, except with more clearance, larger tires, and all wheel drive, comes bouncing down the road packed with 15 or so people. Nedu smartly flagged down the driver and arranged for a ride.

 

We pulled into Doba right when the morning class of school kids got out. The school is right at the town entrance where we got out of the taxi. We were immediately swarmed by the curious children who were extremely interested in these strange looking people. This is not an easily accessible town and Nedu said it was likely were the first white people they had seen, especially the children. Although it was very neat to be surrounded by all the kids, it did make getting around town difficult.  Nonetheless, we set off to see the town. Doba is a fairly new town. Most of the homes are constructed with poles and dung, but the roofs are tin instead of grass. Doba sits on a hillside with narrow alleyways winding around town. Most lead to a large central square lined with shops.  As our entourage dwindled we made our way back to the taxi and the bumpy trip back to the highway. We stopped along the way to take pictures overlooking Doba town.

We then drove back to Bilin.  At the lodge we went for a short hike before dinner. We saw a number of interesting birds and scared the local wart hogs from their den just below the lodge. There are resident Hyenas in the area, but we only saw tracks. Back at our hut Negar spotted a finch like bird in a nearby tree. She slowly approached, getting closer and closer. The bird seemed perfectly content with her presence. Negar very carefully and gently began to pet the bird. Still he did not move. Max walked over and also was able to pet the bird. It didn’t seem like this should be happening but it was. No pictures of our bird petting adventure since it was dark and the flash would have scared them off.

We were exhausted enough to get some sleep in spite of the hot, muggy, mosquito-infested conditions. On Thursday morning we headed back to Addis Ababa the way we came. We got back into Addis Ababa in the evening on Saturday December 3rd. It was already past visiting hours at the foster home. So we checked into the Semien hotel and took much needed showers.

Sunday December 4, 2011

We visited Abebe and Kebede in the morning and afternoon. For lunch we headed off to Sishu restaurant with Jen, Michelle and Rodney and Jennifer and Tom. Sishu is a restaurant which serves American style burgers and sandwiches. It is set in a house with tables and chairs set up in various rooms. The food was excellent but we heard news that a developer will be demolishing the place in the near future to build an apartment building. Sishu’s owner hadn’t yet decided if she was going to open the restaurant in a new location. We hope that she does.

Monday December 5, 2011 – Court and Biftu Orphanage Visit

Monday morning was our court appointment. We were picked up by Mr. Alemu and Solomon, one of AA drivers, shortly after breakfast. We both wore suits to the court even though we were told business casual clothing would also be appropriate. The court house is an unassuming building which looks much like any other building in Addis except for a small blue and white sign which declares the importance of the building. The waiting room was a big square room with a small TV at one end showing the movie True Lies. There were chairs lined up around the room (some broken) and a desk at the far end with no one behind it. The waiting room was filled with both Ethiopians and foreigners (who were very obviously there for adoption). Mr. Alemu told us they call the adoption groups in by adoption agency. We probably waiting for about 1 ½ hours before Adoption Avenues was called in. On that day, Max and I were the only Adoption Avenue’s clients at the court (the next morning 5 other clients of Adoption Avenues went to court together).  Mr. Alemu showed us to a door at one end of the waiting room where he asked us to wait while he went inside. A few seconds later he came back out and asked us to enter. The “court” was a small room with the judge sitting behind a desk piled high with papers. A court secretary was standing next to the desk. There were a few chairs along the wall close to the desk where we were asked to sit while the judge looked over our passports and checked them against papers in front of her. She then started asking us a series of questions (Mr. Alemu had already told us about these questions): Do you have any other children? No. Have taken classes which educate you about international adoption? Yes. Have you met the children? Yes.  Do you plan on teaching the children about their heritage? Yes. Do you realize that adoption is forever and the children will be yours forever? Yes.

She then looked up at us and said “THEY ARE YOURS.”

And so with these few modest words, Max and I legally became the parents of Abebe and Kebede.

No pictures of inside of court (not allowed) but here is a picture of the outside.

After court we headed back to the hotel where we quickly changed out of our suits and then headed straight for the foster home. We then held Abebe and Kebede for the first time as a family.

As if court was not enough of an emotional event for one day, Mr. Alemu also arranged for us and the rest of the adoptive parents to visit the Biftu Orphanage on this day.

We took several taxis and headed to Biftu which was only a 10-15 minute drive from the Foster Home. It has a big open court yard complete with a merry go round, a fountain and a resident turtle. The court yard is lined with small rooms which are used as one office, two infant rooms, one room for older girls, one room for older boys, the kitchen, and the storage room.

We met the orphanage’s founder and director, Tariq, and a social worker Mortekai. We got to learn some details of Abebe and Kebede's lives before coming to Addis. We will save the details of what we learned for the kids and when they are older they can share the details if they so decide. Tariq and Mortekai both very clearly loved what they were doing and cared immensely for all the children they helped. They both took the time to write letters to the children of the five families that were visiting that day and were happy to spend the entire afternoon taking questions from overzealous adoptive parents hungry for any information they can get. To end our visit we were treated to a coffee ceremony.

At night we went to Makush Gallery to celebrate passing court. Makush Gallery is an art gallery / restaurant with very good food.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011 - Tomoca Coffee and Yod Abissynia

The rest of the group had court this morning so we had the visiting room at the Foster Home to ourselves. The gang showed up later in the morning having all passed court.

We visited a famous (a.k.a touristy) coffee house named Tomoca to have some coffee and invest in some beans. I have to say, the coffee was excellent.

The afternoon was more visiting with the boys.

We also decided to go as a group to Yod Abissynia, a restaurant that serves Ethiopian food with traditional live music to celebrate all of us having passed court (except for one family who passed court a few days later).

Wednesday, December 7^th and Thursday December 8^th

We spent our last couple of days in Addis visiting with the boys as much as we could and doing some souvenir shopping. We said a very sad good bye to the boys at the end of the afternoon visit on Thursday and went back to the hotel to get our bags and go to the airport for our late-night flight back to Portland through Amsterdam.

Saying good bye to the guards at our hotel

and our driver Ermias

 

Good bye Addis until our next trip.